First date safety tips that don't spoil the fun.
Most first dates are a little awkward and perfectly fine. A few habits keep them that way. None of this is about expecting the worst. Once the basics are covered, you can stop half-thinking about them and enjoy the evening.
Before you go
Five minutes of planning, done once.
- Meet somewhere public and busy: a café, a bar you already know, or a daytime walk where there are people around.
- Look them up a little. A quick search of their name, or a short video call before you meet, confirms they're who they say they are.
- Tell a friend who you're meeting, where, and roughly when you expect to be done.
- Agree a check-in time with that friend, and what they'll do if they haven't heard from you by then.
- Keep some things for later: your home address, your workplace and your surname can wait until you know them.
- Charge your phone, and know how you're getting home before you leave.
Getting there and back
Your own way in, your own way out.
- Get yourself there and home: drive, take transport or book your own ride, rather than being picked up by someone you've just met.
- Pick a place near transport, so leaving early is easy.
- If the night moves on to somewhere else, go only if you want to, and message your friend the new place.
During the date
Relax. Just keep a couple of habits running in the background.
- Order your own drinks, keep them with you, and get a fresh one if you've left it unattended.
- Drink at the pace you would with friends, or not at all. You never need a reason.
- Have an exit line ready: "I've got an early start, so I'm going to head off. Thanks for tonight." That's all the explanation anyone is owed.
- Keep an easy excuse up your sleeve: a friend who calls at a set time, or a fake incoming call on your phone.
- Notice how they handle small no's. Someone who pushes past "I'm fine, thanks" on the first date is telling you something.
Trust your gut
Feeling uneasy is reason enough.
- If something feels off, you can leave. You don't need proof, and you don't need to be polite about it for long.
- Bar and restaurant staff can help you leave discreetly or get a ride. It's fine to ask.
- When you're home, text your friend that you're back, even if the night went brilliantly.
- If you are ever in danger, get somewhere safe and call your local emergency number.
Remember who was who.
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Questions, answered.
What are the most important first date safety tips?
Meet somewhere public, tell a friend where you'll be and when you expect to be done, get yourself there and home, agree a check-in time, keep an exit line ready, and trust your gut. If something feels off, you can leave.
Should I tell someone I'm going on a first date?
Yes. Tell one friend who you're meeting, where and roughly when you'll be done, and text them when you're home. Agree what they'll do if they don't hear from you by the time you set.
How do I leave a first date early without making a scene?
Use a short, kind exit line ("I'm going to head off, thanks for tonight"), settle your share if you like, and go. A friend calling at a set time, or a fake incoming call, gives you an easy reason if you want one. You don't owe anyone a longer explanation.
Can an app help me stay safe on a first date?
It can help you plan, but it doesn't replace your own judgement. In First Date, a private dating journal, you save the date and venue, set a check-in reminder that asks whether you're home safe, and, if you don't confirm, get a pre-filled text to a contact you chose, which you send yourself. It also has a fake incoming call and a safety guide that works with no signal. First Date does not contact emergency services, does not share your live location and is not a monitoring service. If you are in danger, call your local emergency number.