How are we, really?
Not a performance review — a warm, regular habit of asking how you're each actually doing, so the small things get said before they grow. Twenty-one gentle prompts, free to use. In Wend you each answer privately, then reveal together.
How we're really doing
Start light — the everyday temperature of the two of you.
- On a normal day this week, how full or empty has your tank felt?
- What's been taking up the most room in your mind this week?
- Where in your life do you feel most supported by me right now, and where less so?
- What's been the best part of us lately, in your eyes?
- What's felt really good between us lately that you'd love more of?
- How connected to me have you been feeling this week — honestly?
Us, and the harder bits
The questions that keep small resentments from settling in.
- Is there something you've been shouldering more than your share of lately?
- What's something I've done recently that landed the wrong way, even if I didn't mean it to?
- Where have we been out of rhythm lately, and what do you think caused it?
- Is there a conversation we keep putting off that we should probably have?
- What's felt harder than usual for you in our day-to-day?
- Have I missed something you needed and didn't notice?
- What's one thing we could each try to do differently this week?
Where we're heading
Zoom out together — the direction, not just the day.
- What's something you'd love for us to look forward to in the next month?
- Is there a goal of ours that's slipped that you'd like to pick back up?
- What would make the next few weeks feel good to you?
- What's one thing we could plan now that future-us would be grateful for?
- Are we spending our time and energy on the things that actually matter to us?
- What's a small change that would make our week-to-week feel more like the life we want?
- Does it still feel like we're pointed the same direction, or has something shifted for you?
- When we check in again, what would you love to be able to say has gotten better?
Really talk, every day.
One good question a day — answered privately, revealed together.
Keep exploring
More free guides: 92 ways to really talk · The questions worth the quiet
Questions, answered.
What is a relationship check-in?
A short, regular habit of asking each other how you're really doing — not a performance review. A few honest questions, most weeks, so small things get said before they grow into big ones.
How often should couples check in?
Whatever you'll actually keep. Once a week is plenty; some couples do a two-minute version most nights. The rhythm matters more than the length — Wend turns it into a gentle daily habit if you want one, near or far.
Is this therapy?
No — these are connection prompts, not therapy or clinical advice. They're for staying close and catching the small stuff early. If something feels bigger than a conversation can hold, a qualified professional is the right call.